One At A Time!
by KousukeAsazuki
Summary: [on hiatus] Come one, come all.. just stay in line! Ask your questions to your favorite [or least favorite] Naruto character, and they shall answer! Anything goes, so get those questions in.. the ramen demands it!
1. Chapter 1

Alright, I'm sure it's been done before and will be done again, but these are too fun to pass up and I wanted to try one. So, ask your favorite (or least favorite) Naruto character anything you can think of and they'll answer. If they don't, I will force/bribe/beg them to! And you can ask as many as you want and whatever you want, don't hold back!

Sasuke:...I'm not doing this.

KA (that's me o.o): Oh, yes, you are.

Sasuke:...no, no I'm not. (walks off, muttering about killing Itachi)

KA: I'm sure Itachi will be here to answer his questions, too, you know...

Sasuke:...

Itachi: No one is worthy of my answers.

Sasuke:... (tackles Itachi)

KA: Uhh... so start asking those questions! Some might not be alive long, so hurry!

Naruto: Believe it!

Kakashi: And bring me something else to read, I'm done this already.


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to the next chapter of One At A Time! I'm your host, just call me KA.

Naruto: I want ramen.

KA:...so do I. While I go make that, enjoy**!  
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**Animestar73:**

_Sasuke: i belive you are the ultimate Uke in this show! I just love it when Naru-sama fucks you!_

Sasuke: That loser kissed me once, that's all you'll ever get.

Naruto: Ick, my tongue still burns!

Sakura: Naruto, you baka, how could you steal Sasuke-kun's first kiss?!

Sasuke: Who says it was my first?

Sakura: Whaaaaaat?!

Naruto: (laughs) You never had a chance, Sakura-chan!

_Naruto: I LOVE YOU! Can you do me a favor and kidnap Sasu-chan and fuck him?_

Naruto: (blink)(blink)...(blink) I'm just a kid, I don't do that yet! You're as bad as Kakashi-sensei!

Kakashi: I'm not that bad.. (goes back to reading)

Naruto: All you do is read that pervy book!

Sakura: That I've seen you trying to steal peeks at! (points accusing finger)

Naruto: Well..I..uh...I'm a growing boy, I don't have parents to teach me about this stuff, how else am I going to find out!?

Kakashi: I'll tell you when you're older.

Naruto: But what if I die before then?

Kakashi: Then you won't have any need to know.

Sasuke: Loser.

Naruto: I'm not a loser, you're a loser

Sakura: (sighs) What an idiot...

_Kakashi: Are you a pedophiliac?_

Kakashi: (doesn't hear the question, too busy reading)

Naruto: Sensei!

Kakashi: Sorry, did you say something?

KA: (sweatdrops) She ask if you were a pedophile.

Kakashi: Of course not, I only love full grown women.

Naruto: (sneeks a peak while he's distracted) (faints)

Sakura:... (kicks him in the head anyway) Idiot, that's what you get!

Sasuke: (raises an eyebrow and glances over)...

Sakura: Well, Sasuke-kun, what's it like?

Sasuke:...sensei?

Kakashi: (coughs and goes back to reading) Yes?

KA:...(steals the book and looks at it) It's... it's...

Sakura: It's...what? Tell me!

KA: It's yaoi!!!!!!!!!! (runs around with the book)

Sakura: Gimme! (chases after her)

Sasuke:...next question, please.

_Sakura: Are you a fan of Yaoi?_

Sasuke: (watches Sakura chase KA around) I think that answers that...

Naruto: (revived) Then why was she freaking out when we kissed? Shouldn't she have been fangirling?

Sasuke: Why would she want yaoi with you in it?

Sakura: I want Sasuke-kun yaoi!

KA: Noooooo, my yaoi!

Sasuke:...(goes to leave)

KA: Next, a question for Itachi!

Sasuke:...(stays)

_Itachi: Be a good incestuous big brother and fuck Sasu-chan...and Naru-sama while your at it! My question: What so great about the Atswhatsits?_

Itachi: If you insist and if it will make my brother hate me more (walks over to Sasuke)

Sasuke: No, die! (tackles him)

KA: You're just helping it, baka!

Sakura: Don't call Sasuke-kun an idiot, that's Naruto!

KA: He's tackling someone that wants to rape him!

Naruto: (changes the rating to M)

KA: Oh..right.. that'll happen next chapter... get 'im Itachi!

Itachi: (already done with Sasuke)

Sasuke:...that wasn't so bad...

Itachi: (looks at Naruto)

Naruto: Ah! No! Take Sakura!

Sakura: Sasuke-kun, me next!

Sasuke: I don't think you can do _that._

Kakashi: I have accessories if you need them.

KA: You _are _a perv!

Kakashi: Of course, look at what I'm reading.

KA: (loves Kakashi even more)

Naruto: (struggling with Itachi) No...get...off!

Kakashi: Naruto, just think of it as a... more explorative Thousand Years Of Pain.

Naruto:...GET OFF OF ME, YOU FREAK!!!

Itachi: It's Akatsuki. And there's nothing great about them, I just like the capes.

KA: Sure you do.. thanks for reviewing and asking!

**thedarkspy:**

_Though I'm sure many people ask this, I would like to ask Sakura whether that is her natural hair colour or not?_

Sakura: Well...you see...the thing is...

Ino: She heard pink hides your forehead.

Sakura: Shut it, Ino-pig!

Ino: Make me, Forehead!

KA:...anyway, Sakura. Answer.

Sakura: Ah, right..well, I.. (blushes)

Naruto: She heard Sasuke likes pink!

Sakura: Shut it, Naruto!

Sasuke: What's wrong with pink?

KA: And you're.. sure you're not gay?

Sasuke: Well... (looks at Itachi)

Itachi: No, it was a one time thing.

Sasuke: Damn!

KA:...anyway... thanks for reviewing and asking!

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That's all for now, get some more questions in and I'll post another chapter! 


	3. Chapter 3

Guess I'll put up a new chapter, even though there weren't many questions asked**.  
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**Skyheart:**

_Sasuke what's with the hair? You do know it's shaped like a duck's butt right?_

Sasuke: No one likes my hair.. (goes off to angst in his emo corner)

Sakura: I like your hair, Sasuke-kun!

Naruto: What about _my _hair?

Sakura:...(follows Sasuke into his emo corner) It's so...dark...and depressing..oh, Sasuke, cheer up.

Sasuke:...why?

Sakura: I love you and will never leave you or give up on you!

Sasuke:...(angsts more)

KA: Poor...someone...

_Kakashi: have you ever put down that book and read something else?_

Kakashi: (busy reading)

Naruto: (coughs) Kakashi-sensei...

Kakashi: (blinks and looks up) Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something?

Naruto: That answers that...

KA: Yes, it does... at least he's...dedicated?

Naruto: He's just a perv

KA: But he's so cute... anyway, thanks for asking and reviewing!

**Animestar73:**

_To-Fishy-headed-guy-that-i-forgot-the-name-of but-always-hangs -out-with-Itachi-and-with-the-weird-shaving-sword: Was your mother the fish or your father?_

Fishy-headed-guy-that-you-forgot-the-name-of but-always-hangs -out-with-Itachi-and-with-the-weird-shaving-sword: My name is Kisame...(sighs)

Itachi: It makes us sound like lovers

Kisame: Well...

Itachi:...don't make me go ninja on you.

Sasuke: (snorts) What the hell?

Itachi: I can't help it, this damn authoress won't make me stop saying stupid shit

KA: Hey! You're my bitches for this fic, shut up!

Itachi: Or what?

KA: Or I'll make you wear a frilly, pink tutu

Sasuke:...I'd kill to see that... actually, I'll kill Itachi then stick him in one. Two birds, one stone.

Kisame: More like one tutu.

Itachi: I despise you all.

Kisame: _Anyway_, as for the question... my father was a _shark_, thank you very much. (so dignified about it)

Naruto: Your mother's kinkier than Kakashi-sensei!

Kisame: At least I _have _a mother.

Naruto:...ouch.

Sasuke: (broods) my mother was killed

Itachi: So was mine

Sasuke: You killed her!

Itachi: And yet I'm not an emo angsty brat about it, imagine that.

Sasuke: It's the cape, isn't it? Those damn clouds make you anti-angst!

Itachi:...you've no proof of that..

Sasuke: (rips the Akatsuki cape off of him)

Itachi: (left in silky black boxers)

Naruto: I was so hoping they'd be pink..

Kisame: I was so hoping they didn't exist..

Itachi:...(breaks down angsting) My life is so horrible, I killed my entire family, my brother hates me, I have so many annoying fangirls, I have to answer these _idiotic _questions, I hate my fangirls, people pair me with _Kisame_, gods the fangirls!

Kisame: Oh great...

Naruto:...(pulls off Kisame's cape)

Kisame: (_doesn't _have anything on)

Naruto: Oh gods!

Sakura: You idiot!

Kakashi: (looks up) Hm...? Ah! I've gone blind! No! I'll never know how it ends!

Kisame: Everyone hates me! (runs away to his own emo corner)

KA:...see what happens when you ask things?

Naruto: How the hell did you make three questions last nearly three pages?

KA: I'm magic. Thanks for asking and reviewing!


	4. Chapter 4

Haha... look at me, I'm updating. You'd think I do this often or something, but it's clear I don't... sorry? Er...enjoy!**  
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**SpecialChild**

_sakura: do you still think you have a giant forehead? 'cause if you do, then you're not alone, because everyone says i have a giant forehead too, but I don't let it get to me. ps, get over sasuke. he's emo and his hair looks like a duck's butt. go out with lee 'cause he's awesome._

Sakura: (idly tries to cover her forehead) What forehead? I don't know what you're talking about...

Ino: Ha! Yeah, right, you don't even need a mirror to see that thing, it's so big!

Sakura: Shut up, Ino-pig! Hmph, anyway, thank you very much.

KA: Don't try and ignore the Sasuke part

Sakura: Oh, I wasn't, I wasn't! (nervous laugh) But he just needs some friends!

Sasuke: I _need _to find Itachi.

Itachi: (standing right next to him)...I've been here the entire time, you realize.

Sasuke:... die! (attacks him)

Kakashi: Don't blame his behavior on me, he wasn't with me long enough to do any real training. (looks at Naruto and Sakura) Actually... just forget I had students at all.

Lee: I agree that Sakura should consider me as a suitor.

Sakura: Uhh... next question.

KA: Poor Lee... (hugs him)

_lee: can i give you a hug?_

Lee: I suppose if Sakura-chan does not mind.

Sakura: Oh, no, I don't mind.. have fun (waves a hand)

KA: See? Everyone wants to hug Lee (hugs him again) Thanks for asking and reviewing!

**I am almighty SEPTEMBER!!!**

_I'd like to ask Sasuke why he's such a damn bastard._

Sasuke: I don't know, why are you such a reject?

Naruto: (looks up from a bowl of ramen) Are you talking about yourself again?

Sasuke: No, I'm talking about this idiot reviewer who has nothing better to do than sit around and ask redundant questions to some idiot author that thinks it's fun to pretend to know how we'd react to these idiotic questions that they somehow managed to spew out of their mass of jumbled, dying brain cells.

KA: (sweatdrops) Uhhh... I _did _mention that the opinions stated by these characters aren't my own, right? Good... because that was so all him. Thanks for asking and reviewing!

**LeeSaku4eva**

_If I could ask rock lee a question, it would probably be this:_

_might guy and sakura haruno are being held hostage. you can save only one of them, and the other will be killed. who would you save?_

Lee: I am Konoha's Green Beast, I could save both!

KA: That wasn't the question, you have to pick one.

Lee: But how do I choose? Gai-sensei is my teacher and role model, I would be nothing if he did not believe in me every step of the way and inspire me to push myself beyond my limits. If it were not for him, I might have never met Sakura-chan. Oh, but fair Sakura-chan, I could not dare to think that she would be harmed because of my decision. I do not know what to choose, the very thought alone is too much to bear!

KA: So... he'd have a break down and save neither. Good thing Gai can take care of himself and Naruto has a crush on Sakura, too...

_I'd also like to ask Ino this:_

_did you have any idea that your name in japanese means boar (hence the name ino-pig)?_

Ino: Shut up!

Sakura: (snickers)

Inner Sakura: Ha! And I just called her that because she _looked _like a pig!

_lastly, I'd like to ask might guy this:_

_I understand that you and rock lee have a student/teacher relationship. because of this, do you have the urge to join NAMBLA?_

Gai: Lee and my relationship is beyond any abbreviated organization's understanding. Still, Lee, perhaps we could start our own secret club...

Lee: Really, Gai-sensei? A secret club?

Gai: Yes! And one Kakashi wouldn't be able to get into. Ha, what do you think of _that_, Kakashi?

Kakashi:...hm? Oh, sorry, did you say something?

Gai: Ah! That attitude, it's so...so cool!

KA: His hair isn't bad either... XD, thanks for asking and reviewing!

**crazyaoilover**

_to naruto and sakura: why do you wear clothes that make you look like targets? especially sakura...you have circles that practically screams "bulls eye here!". aren't y'all supposed to be ninjas?_

Naruto: I'm so good, I can wear the brightest color in the world and never be spotted!

Sasuke: You _do _wear the brightest color in the world, and your mouth gives you away a mile before anyone could see you.

Naruto: Exactly, so I don't need to change my clothes!

Sakura: Well, unlike Naruto, I actually know how to be discreet.

Sasuke: You need to be, you suck at fighting.

Naruto: Hey, don't be mean to Sakura-chan!

Lee: Sakura-chan is an excellent ninja.

Kakashi: Sasuke, you know, as far as skill goes, you might be more powerful, but Sakura is more inventive and resourceful.

Sasuke:...hn.

KA: Aw, poor em- I mean Sasuke. Thanks for asking and reviewing!

**Skyheart**

_Sasuke why are you so emo? You should drop the act you know._

Sasuke: There is no act, will you all just shut up already? All I'm trying to do is destroy my brother. Why don't _you _lose your entire clan and family as a child and then have your only remaining family member want you dead and see if _you _aren't emo. I bet you've never had a bad thing happen to you and yet you tell someone who's lost their entire life to cheer up... bastard.

KA: Jeez...emo rant much?

Sasuke: Oh shut it, the worst you've had is your parents divorced and your entire family get hooked on drugs. At least you have family.

KA:...you want them? Good, take them. Now we're both happy. See? It works, people, you just need to share!

_Sakura this is actually advice. GIVE UP ON SASUKE! I really don't know what you see in him so what do you see BESIDES looks? (advice came from me and other people)_

Sakura: I won't give up on Sasuke-kun! I believe in him!

KA: So do I, I believe that he's an emo and is milking this whole 'family' thing for attention. Family's overrated, anyway.

Sasuke: You're just saying that because you have family.

KA: Always want what you can't have, don't you?

Sakura: Leave Sasuke-kun alone. He's a good person, he's just a little... blinded by hatred.

Sasuke: Or your forehead...

KA: Ouch...

_Another question for Sasuke. Is there anyone you like in the world?_

Sasuke: I can give you a whole list of people I don't like. At the moment, you're right at the top.

KA: Even above Itachi?

Sasuke: Good point... you're number three.

KA: How did they go from one to three?

Sasuke: I remembered you existed.

KA:...ignore that. Thanks for asking and reviewing!

**Animestar73**

_Itachi: I'm dying to ask, with the aid of the twisted fangirl mind, would you have turned out gay?_

Itachi: I don't know, but with the aid of my sharingan, I can turn you inside out.

Naruto: Look at him! He wears a poor excuse for a dress, his hair's always up, and he wears nail polish. Who says he _isn't _gay?

Itachi: Better yet, I'll just lock you in a box with him.

_Sasuke: When you grow up what do you want to be?_

Sasuke: What kind of retarded question is that? I'm a _ninja_, it's not just an extra-curricular activity, you know.

_Naruto: Do you like being seme or uke to Sasu-chan?_

Naruto: (spits out ramen) The hell? And look, I wasted perfectly good ramen on that question!

KA: Answer.

Naruto:... what makes you think I want to be either?

KA: Uke it is!

Naruto: Hey, I didn't say that!

KA: You're not denying it.

Naruto: Sakura-chan, the next question's for you!

_Sakura: I REALLY hate you...my question is, will you just stop chasing Sasuke?_

Sakura: I won't give up on Sasuke, no matter how much you tell me to. I know I used to be so blinded and just follow him around like a puppy, but I've come a long way since then, really! I now want to save my friend, not just a crush. So I won't stop following him until I get him back.

Inner Sakura: And _then _he'll like me and I'll get him. That'll show that Ino-pig!

_Sai: Do you really look like Sasuke? I've never really seen a clear picture of you...and why are you so obsessed with penises?_

Sai: You mean does my hair look like a duck's ass? No. And why are you asking? Do you have a penis?...is it as small as Naruto's?

Naruto: Stop talking about my penis!

Sakura:...please stop.

KA: Agreed... thanks for asking and reviewing!


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